Day One!

I stared dumbly at my screen, wondering why I bothered to even get up for work, its not even as if I hated my job, but I was starting to wonder if I was in the right place for me, all the reasons for applying for the job in the first place now not holding the same appeal. After losing a job I hated with a passion, I got the kick I needed to really start thinking about what I actually wanted to do, I had bumbled along for far too long. I had been so happy getting the job at the university, I felt that I'd finally found the place I belonged. Two and a half years on, doubts were creeping in and I could feel my feet itching to move on, do something else. Was it too much to ask to be happy, just for once?
I had a nagging feeling that unless I changed the way I thought, that I would never be happy in whatever I was doing. I had to start having a meaning to my life.
I made my escape for lunch, the break I needed in order to clear my head, get away from my desk. I felt guilty about all the time I'd wasted that morning, no real work done, just lots of internet surfing, not great! As I sat in the Law building, watching the students moving between lectures, I felt myself relax, now was my time and I scribbled furiously, trying to get all my ideas down on paper. The would be writer inside of me finally getting the chance to escape, even if only for an hour, until I could get home and carry on, this is what I really wanted to do!
To be able to write like my favourite authors and poets, share my own words with the world. I just didn't know where to start. I felt most alive when I was involved in a story or poem, expressing what I was thinking or feeling. I started to feel excited as ideas formed in my head, I could start a blog! I'd read in magazines how other people had written blogs, you never know who will read, what could happen next. Maybe I will be the next undiscovered hit?!
As lunch drew to a close, I was beginning to realise that realistically I needed to be more mature, stop being negative all the time and make the most out of what I had. I am lucky to have a good job and I would be able to move on at some point, but only when the time was right, and not just because I was having a bad day. But there was nothing stopping me expanding on what I really loved either! I got caught up in a crowd of students as I was leaving and smiled to myself, realising that I was indeed in the right place, I just needed reminding now and again. I went back to work feeling a little lighter, knowing I had the evening to start putting my ideas into action, I couldn't wait!