First day of the month and I wanted to start as I meant to go on, as I
usually do. To be met with… not a lot. At first I got frustrated, stared out of
the window, messed about on social media. But that only made me feel worse. So
I gave up on what I was trying to do, the part I was attempting to work on and
tried something else. And do you know what, it worked. Words appeared on paper
and I was lost in my story for a short
while. I proved to myself that even on a bad day, there can be a way to turn it
around. I just need to tell my head that. It doesn’t always work, but I sure am
grateful when it does.
I’m the boss of my ambition, me. I’m the only one who can change my mind
set, get those words on the page. This story won’t get told if I don’t take the
opportunity to tell it. Thankfully the rest of the month hasn’t been a repeat
of day one. Over the course of the last few weeks, I’ve managed to type up
another 17,083 words and am finally
catching up with myself as I reach my current notebook. The feeling to have
that many words (currently standing at around the 168,000 mark) in one place
and know that there are more to come is both immense and scary. When I first
started writing this story I hadn’t really considered, not seriously, where it
would take me and how much I would learn both about myself and my writing. And
although I know it’s going to be a mammoth task, I’m looking forward to piecing everything together. It’s a job I
should have done at the start, a long time ago, but I at least know that for
next time! I have the planning notebook ready so I just need the work as it is,
a good pen and some post its and I can make a start. There will still be more
to do, I know that already, but I need to see it in full before I can do any
more, or either I will get lost or this story will never end! So that will
definitely be my next job (I know I’ve said it before, but I’m more determined
this time). Planning, what needs working on and just how I’m going to sort all
my rambled mess into something resembling coherence.
As I said before, my lunch break is my dedicated time to write but
more often than not I’m finding it’s
just not long enough. I feel like I’m just
getting started and then have to stop again,
go back to the office when I could happily spend the rest of the afternoon in
that spot building my story and adding more words to the page. But as I focus
back on work, the rush of inspiration has gone, so by the time I get home, the
words are no longer there. It’s not always the case, but most of the time it
happens that way. It can be quite frustrating, but I need to accept the time I
have and just do the best I can. Life does and will get in the way! I’m
escaping into my world as I scribble or type. I am there, at the kitchen table,
on the beach, seeing everything and hearing as my characters do. It’s a special
feeling when it happens and one I’d very much like to hang on to for as long as
I can.
There are always new columns to write and currently I also have a short
story that I’m think about for a competition, plus the weekly QuickFic prompts
have made a comeback on a Friday which has been fun to take part in. It’s about
keeping things fresh and the chance to explore other ideas, which is never a
bad thing, just as long as it’s not at the expense of the work in progress and
I’m very conscious of that, of not forgetting that it is always there until
that elusive ‘first’ draft is done at least.
On a slightly different note, I’m hoping to arrange a writing weekend
with some fellow writers from the retreat that I took part in last year (can’t
believe it’s been that long already!) It will be an ideal chance to be around
like minded people and share ideas and thoughts, as well as having the specific
space to actually write when nothing else is distracting me. I have my sister of
course, and would be lost without her support, but it’s always nice to carve
out a longer chunk of time with others and see things differently, outside of
your own little bubble. It will be lovely, so I just hope we can get something
in the diary!
And so as the month draws to a close, I’m feeling happy as new words appear
on the page. There hasn’t been much of
that recently as the focus has been on catching up, but the few times I have
decided to put pen to paper have been fruitful and it feels especially good
when it happens outside of my planned time as it did just yesterday. It just
goes to show that you have to go with it when you can before your mind explodes
with all the thoughts whirring round inside. Not a bad place to be in right
now.
