You don’t put yourself in what you write, you find yourself there’
Feeling that is becoming even more of a prominent statement for me,
especially recently. I’ve been thinking a
lot about my life, where I’m going, what
am I am doing or indeed want to do? It certainly has an impact on my wellbeing
and there has certainly been moments where its affected my writing
if I’ve been unhappy or unmotivated with what essentially I spend most hours of
my day doing. But writing (at the moment, long may it continue) is my one happy
place. But whilst it cannot be a full time endeavour, I need to find something
that makes me feel happy (ish) in a similar way or I am in danger of sliding
down a slippery slope which I don’t want in either aspect. I just wish I had an
inkling of what direction I should be heading, as currently a little
disenchanted! Or maybe I’m in the right place, just the wrong job as I feel
inspired by sitting amongst the students in the library?! Only time will tell,
but I just want to be careful in protecting my writing.
I’m feeling positive with where I
am at the moment, having had a few strong weeks of writing, both new scribbles
as well as typing up the original words. I’ve been focusing on particular sections and building the story
and certainly written more than I have in a long while, consistently at least,
and I can say for the whole of the month! I really feel that I’m becoming a
part of my words and created world and that is a lovely feeling. So as
instructed by Miranda Dickinson, who remains a constant source of inspiration
for me, maybe I should be changing the name of this blog to ‘actually I am a
writer now’! I am only just starting to believe that as I continue on my
writing journey.
‘Write your first draft with your heart and re-write with your head. The
best key to writing is to write, not to think’ Finding Forrester
And that’s just what I’m doing. So I’m bound to have the one day where things
don’t seem to go to plan and the idea that I began with isn’t forming itself
how I would like it to, but I’m still writing! Okay, so I may not be happy with
what I’ve just scribbled every time, but at the stage I’m at, its about getting
the rough skeleton down onto paper, to be reworked and built on later, so I
will try and allow myself the odd off day, that let it be okay. That’s one of
the reasons I continue to keep my writing log, which I started about a year ago
now. It gives me something to look back on, especially on one of those particular
days, and see just what I’ve achieved. The number of notebooks full of ideas
and words is also testament to just how far I’ve come (or is my writing too
big, as I work on number 8?) . With over 70,000 words currently typed up- both
ideas to work on and more established scenes- with lots more still to do and
ideas still surfacing as I write, maybe I’m doing something right then? This
novel is the most I’ve ever written for anything, and that is a both a strange
and exciting feeling.
Of course, there is still lots of work to be done. I’ve been looking
back as I type and in previous notebooks to see where I’ve started to work on
particular scenes, and later where I have revisited the same ideas. Its proof to me that I do have good ideas,
but I now need to bring the words together, or my novel will become a lot of
repetition of certain sections and forgetting about others! I need the time to
really look at what I’ve already written and catch up on my typing if this is
going to work moving forward. But at least I’m aware of what needs to be done
and the ways any issues can be resolved, I’m starting to see the novel as a
whole now, which is more that I could say a few months ago. I just had to find
my way and be patient. And by working on particular sections, using a draft
plan I have drawn up, I finally feel I can ‘see the wood for the trees’ and am
becoming much more focused as a writer.
As I continue on my journey of becoming a writer, I’ve become a more
critical reader. Whilst still enjoying a majority of the books I read, I can
also see and know where I want my writing to be in comparison, how I want it to
read and where I fit in. I think this has been an important learning curve and
step. So I will continue to read more widely and broadening my horizons,
letting writers inspire me in different ways.
‘If you don't have time to read, you don't have the time (or the tools)
to write. Simple as that.’ Stephen King
Re-read my blog post from this time last year and realising that
although I might still be saying very similar things a year on, I absolutely
feel that I’ve come on further in both
my writing and my journey. I can’t believe that I’ve been writing this blog now
for three years which means my novel has taken even longer! But I’m still
moving ever forwards and who knows, maybe 2018 will be the year for me?
‘Every day is a good day’ Henry Fraser
‘Write what you can discover’ Loretta Milan
A Writer’s life
Mind whirring
Fingers twitching
Hair pulling
Foot tapping
Tired eyes
Blank page
Pencil poised
Never still
Ideas flying
Words brewing
Notebooks full
Inspiration lurking
Keys tapping
Rambling thoughts
Mental block
Showing up
Magic happens
Story created
Writers life.
