Looking back at
what I wrote last month, to see if I’ve followed through with what I promised
myself. And I’d like to think that I have. I get all my thoughts out at the end
of the month, and then quite often, promptly forget it all! (And I’m sure you
would agree, as I more than likely repeat myself quite a lot!). I need to try
and look back more, see if I’m moving forward.
As I would normally
expect, the last few weeks have had their normal stops and starts. I know I
want to write but there are times when I’m slow to get going. But what am I
waiting for? I still feel that I’m somewhat lacking direction. I’ve carried on
writing thoughts and ideas as they come, but just as before, my novel continues to very much be a jumble of words
with no clear structure. I know I will get there in the end, but I do need to
at least have a vague idea of where I’m going and need to be; what still needs
to be worked on.
I’ve started to
work on re-drafting my synopsis in the hope that by getting the bones done, I
can start to see things clearer, use it as guideline to be able to see what I
still need to do, to help sort out the rest.
So far it’s been an interesting task, and I’ve yet to finish it. It is
quite detailed in its current state and I’m sure it’s too long for a synopsis,
but at least it’s getting me to see the bigger picture. There have been some
spurts and paragraphs, but most of the work has been to look at my character
outlines, giving more depth to them, so I can earn more about them. The
synopsis is doing the same. My next plan is to create more visual aids- a
timeline for example, particularly for my main character so I can plan out how
her story unfolds. Mind maps too, for both the arcs and the characters, to see
the links between everything, and what or who is not needed from the words I
have already created. I’m not saying that I will start editing, that will need
to wait until the first draft is finally finished, but it will be a good
exercise to try and see the bigger picture, particularly when I feel so lost it
in all. A list had been started too, for things to look out for when we’re in
Cornwall, I’m determined to make the most out of the time there, as well as
enjoy myself. It’s just what I need right now, and I’m counting down the days
until we go.
I also feel a
strong need to immerse myself in some writing books, to help me in some way to
work out where I’m going wrong. A lot of the time my head feels like a coiled
up spring, as I attempt to find something, anything to put on the glaringly blank
page. I’m still reading, so I’m beginning to organise myself in a small way at
least. The same goes for the articles that I see online, the inspiration from
others that I retweet. I should be looking at why I share these things, read
more!
‘Ride the wave.
Know what to ride on and what to leave. How to hold your nerve. Believe in the
story you are writing. Choose the wave that you want to jump on, even if it’s
different to what others are doing. Do what is right for you’ Miranda Dickinson
Extremely sound advice
from a reliable source. I do believe in the story that I’m writing, that I do
now. And that’s why I haven’t given up. There certainly have been times when I’ve
felt like it, that’s it not worth the grief I give myself. But it is worth it. Writing has saved me when
I’m feeling low, a way to express my feelings and process my thoughts. Maybe I
should be using this more for my novel. Write your life. Turn the negatives
into positives. But I need to know, and
I’m learning, when to give myself a break, to do something else. I can take
inspiration from the blog to start with. There is proof that I can write a
reasonable amount of words when I put my mind to it, and just in an hour or an
evening. If I continue to wait for the right words, the muse, then nothing will
happen. Prompts and thoughts help though and I can start trying something
similar in my other writing, just important to keep the writing going whatever.
I’m learning that
it’s okay to have a bad day, not to be able to want to write, and not beat
myself up when that happens. Others would disagree I know, that I was
procrastinating. But my mind will just not go there sometimes and that’s okay.
Tomorrow is a new day, a fresh start.
Never give up, Keep
believing.
