Wednesday 31 August 2016

August 2016- Onwards......

‘A winner is a dreamer who never gives up’- Nelson Mandela

And I certainly feel like one, what a month!! It started well and has continued in the same vein right until the last day, and hopefully onwards. It’s rare that I can say that, but it has certainly been a positive few weeks.  I’m determined to get to where I want to be, be that with my writing or my work life. Sure I’ve suffered a few setbacks along the way, but they will only make me stronger and more determined, once I’ve got over the disappointment that is. But I’m even doing better there too, picking myself up quickly and getting on with the next thing. If it’s not meant to be, then I will be patient and wait for when it is. I know, too much of the motivational quotes, but it’s helping me!  I’ve recently purchased a couple of books- ‘The Pursuit of Awesome’ and ‘How to get into Publishing’ and I hope they will help me along the way, both in life and writing. It helps to take a step back to think about where I want to be and how best to move forward, and I don’t think anyone would dismiss a little help along the way. So let me tell you why the last few weeks have been the most positive I’ve had in a while…

So it all started with working on and finishing my short story competition entries. I’d set myself a deadline to get them in way before the closing dates, so that I could go away and know that I was in a good place, leaving room to focus on the task in hand, my novel. But more on that later. I’d committed myself to submitting entries, so therefore I wasn’t going to give up and not bother. It felt good to stick to my writing goals, despite the fact that my novel was currently on hold. Who knows if they will come to anything, but at least I’ve tried, you have to be in it to win it after all. The same went for an application for a bursary to attend the ‘Festival of Writing’ in York early next month. I would love to go, but can’t currently afford it, so applied just the same as many others.  I’ve since found out that I didn’t get that or win one of the competitions, but I won’t be put off. Whilst I wait for the other two competitions to pick their winners, I will of course keep my fingers crossed, but I will keep looking out for ways and means to get my voice heard and attend all the events and workshops that I want to go to, my time will come! Therefore I will continue to look out for competitions and other little projects, breaking up my writing time, and who knows what will come out of it, only time will tell.

But my main and biggest positive this month has to be my novel. I’m going even so far to say that I’m proud of myself. The trip to Cornwall proved invaluable, as I hoped it would be and there were lots of notes and scribbles whilst we were away, carrying on from where I’d left off. I felt much better once I could get a sense of the place and my character in it. Like with articles on the same subject, there is only so much you can get from looking at things online and from pictures. But it’s only when you’re actually there, that it all becomes to feel a bit more real.  I found myself getting back into my novel, working on ideas, some new, and seeing where they take me, and so it’s continued since returning. My head and heart are still in Cornwall and I want to be back there, immersing myself in the world of my novel. Is this a good thing? Currently, I would say yes as its helping me with my writing at least, the flurry of words a testament to that in the few weeks since I’ve been back.  I’m finally able to see my story in my head and where it wants to go. It’s a good feeling, with lots to work on and think about.  

As per usual, I spent some time beating myself up a little whilst I was away, for not doing enough writing where I felt I should. But looking back I gained a wealth of ideas and did do some writing, but I have to remember that it was also a holiday with family, and not solely a writing retreat for me. But I am even more inspired by Cornwall and looking at what I did do, there was more than I thought, with ideas and a real sense of place, and I’ve realised that the rest has come later, in all the writing I’ve done since then. That’s the beauty of writing. You can inhabit a world of your own making, yours to return to whenever you want. And that’s what reading has done for me too. I owe a huge thank you to both  Liz Fenwick and Emylia Hall for helping me get back on track with my novel, as well as Cornwall!

It was a strange feeling just the other day to come to the end of a full notebook of scribbles and ideas that has accompanied me for months, and to now be faced with the fear of the blank page again, like starting over. But like beginning another month, it will be just like an extension of the last, and just means that I will now have to carry both with me, as well as a folder containing the rest of the novel, so that I don’t miss anything, and I know where I left off and have something to refer back to. I will not be scared back into the writing rut, at least for a long while yet.

Whilst away and since coming back, I’ve also been devouring some of my books set in Cornwall, some re-reading and some new to help keep the inspiration flowing and bring in new ideas and thoughts. But whilst it has been a useful task, I’m trying not to get stuck on Cornwall books though; you know what they say about too much of a good thing. And I can get lots of ideas for my own novel by reading a variety of books, and not just thoughts on the setting. I’m learning that anything can spark an idea. Its not that I want to replicate the books I’m reading, but draw ideas from them and create my own story, inspired by others. And I’ve found through my reading of Cornwall set books that there can be positives and negatives. Two were brilliant for ideas and inspiration (thank you Liz Fenwick and Emylia Hall!!) where as one, although I enjoyed it, I didn’t get out of it what I expected. So there lies the trouble in relying just on books set where you want yours to be, Inspiration can come from the most unlikely sources.  Okay, so I might struggle over what to read next, scared the thread will be lost, but I can’t put all the pressure on gaining the spark from what I read.  But then I’ve now found that I’m building up a good collection of poetry books, so it would be good to find the time to try and look through them, a slightly different source of ideas. And that has reminded me of my boards on Pinterest. It’s been a while since I’ve looked at or used them, so I mustn’t forget they are there, storing a whole wealth of ideas. And I have all my hundreds of photos from my trip, to take me back to how I felt on a certain day.

And so I haven’t stopped writing since the start of the month, give or take a few days, but then I have to fit life around it when I can! But I’m not going to feel guilty. That’s the way things are, and I will always have it to come back to, and sometimes a few days away can spark fresh ideas and inspiration, so I won’t see it as a bad thing. As I write this, I’m starting three days off from work, and just to concentrate on my writing, so I hope that September will be as fruitful as the last month, but I will at least start it determined and ready! Find your happy place, a quote I heard just the other day, and I’m starting to believe I have, on the page and so today is a good day, and long may it continue.

‘Because you’re amazing, just the way you are’ Bruno Mars

‘Write your story and share it with the world’



‘Still I rise’- Maya Angelou