It’s certainly been
a strange month, and my feelings continued from March really, with not much
achieved, or I certainly didn’t think so.
And it always amazes me that when I sit down to write this blog that a reasonable
number of words come out in a relatively short space of time, so why can I not
seem to do the same when it comes to my novel?
But then looking
back, although I may not have felt like I’ve done very much, there have been
some glimmers of hope along the way and words on the page. The Lent challenge
continued, with prompts for each day. I’ve yet to go back and read them all,
but there may be some flashes of inspiration that I can use, who knows? But at
least it got me into writing each day, even if (after doing my daily mile walk)
I didn’t have time to do much else. I’ve
also been learning to not feel guilty and I do feel much better for it. By
doing things in my own time and attempting to take the pressure off, I’m hoping that it will continue to have a positive
effect. And by putting the main work to
one side, whilst walking, working on my lent pieces and life taking over and me
letting it (it has been a very busy month of days out, concert and rehearsals,
plus a week’s holiday), I think it will be a good thing, that I will be able to
see more clearly when I pick it up again.
And that may just
be the case. As the month draws to a close, I am once more thinking about my
novel and seeing what I need to be doing, to be working on. I’ve been
continuing with the free writing a little, and by taking some of the pressure
off, it has been interesting to see what comes, whether it be notes and ideas
or continuing from where I left off. And I’ve learnt that it’s best to share
your worries. I left a post within a Facebook group which includes most of the
ladies from last month’s retreat, and I
should have done it ages ago! I couldn’t have asked for better support and
helpful comments, as well as a little motivation boost. It really helps to know
that you are not alone and that you know where to go to get the support that
you need. Yes, I would love the group to be a physical one, but locations just
don’t allow. And anyway, at least I’ve met all the people and we have a joint
understanding of where we are and what we’re going through, it is much needed!
It has certainly given me lots to think about.
‘Patience is not
about the ability to wait, but the ability to keep a good attitude while
waiting’
I’m excited again
now to get writing and see what happens. I will take everything on board that I
have been told and advice given, but instead of trying to do something now that
I’m not quite ready for, I will just power through, get the story out and then
look back. If I keep looking over everything now, the doubt will continue to
seep through and I will never get to the end. So it’s taken me a couple of
months to process, but I now think I’m turning a corner, starting to see where
I need to be going. And other jobs can be done along the way as it all becomes
clearer. I have to do things my way and in my own time. A deadline is good, and
I will attempt to stick to that this year and get the first draft done, but I
will take the pressure off. At this stage in my journey as a writer, I don’t
have anyone else to answer to and I have to remember that. There is no magic
number for the length of time it should take, so I will plod on and if it’s
done before the end of the year, then that will just be a bonus!
And so I will once
more go back to a quote I’ve used before, as it just resonates so much to me
and how I feel, and I will abide by it!
‘I am the master of
my fate, I am the captain of my soul’ Invictus.
Short and sweet
this month, what with everything else, and now I need to get writing!!
