And that’s exactly
what I’ve been doing! It is a simple but extremely effective piece of advice,
and one that I’m certainly living by, so thank you to Rowan Coleman! I am
constantly being inspired and motivated by other writers, and I need to have
that same belief in myself that I find in them. So here goes…. I AM a Writer,
right now, thank you! (thanks Miranda Dickinson, yet again!!)
‘Stop aspiring and
start writing. If you’re writing, you’re a writer.’ Alan W Watts
And so I am,
writing that is. Okay, so there are days when I’ve been writing blindly with no
real sense of direction, but a little something is surely better than a whole
lot of nothing? I just need to keep trying to remember that. I have the desire
to write, but no real plan, and perhaps that’s where I am lacking a little.
That I need to have a some kind of plan, or an idea each time I sit down to
write, maybe a note as I finish the previous paragraph as to my thoughts for
the next part. At least it would help me to focus. A bit late to the party I
know, but if I’ve learnt nothing else, its that you have to do these things at
your own speed and realisation. So that’s what I’ve been doing quite a bit of
this month, and the notebook (number 6!) is quickly filling up as I build on
the part of the story that I decide to work on each day. That may be the same
for a couple of days, slowing bringing things to life. Or it may be a new idea that I feel the need to scribble and
work on. Whatever, the main positive is that there are words on the page, or
pages! And its been working well, as I sit down and quickly scan over where I’ve
stop the previous day or session , and then begin to throw myself into what happens
next. It’s been a while since I’ve worked like that, but it feels good. Like I’m
slightly less disjointed, as I write and new ideas and thoughts come in as I
work on a particular section.
But there is still
very much a need to have some kind of outline, however rough so that I can see
where I’m going. I spent a long time writing large chunks of what I now know is
really the back story for my main character. But I don’t feel that the time was
wasted. Along with the character outlines that I’ve been working on more
recently, they have helped me to understand my characters fully, and see where
the heart of my novel really is, and to begin the work on focusing on that
instead. I’m learning things the hard way, but I am happy to be constantly
learning, I just want to get it right and I know it is making me into a better
writer too. I have all the ideas, I just need to continue putting them into
practice and not let the fear that I can’t do it hold me back. And so that
means going back to my synopsis yet again. The last re-write was too long and
detailed and I felt I was getting a little lost, focusing on the wrong things.
So I will be looking at again, through fresh eyes, and trying to make it the
best I can, to give me the bare bones that I so desperately need to help me.
Again, constantly learning.
‘Be brave and finish
your story’ Miranda Dickinson
Like I said before,
I feel I owe so much to the writers that I have had the great pleasure of
getting to know. Just by one small sentence, they help me enormously. Being brave is what writing is all about.
Having that confidence in what you want to write and then sharing it with
others, and the motivation to keep showing up each time, even if you don’t know
how things will go. You need to overcome the fear in each moment and be the
best version of yourself. ‘Life is a series of random events, some you win and
some you lose’ And that’s okay, just so long as you don’t let the losses define
how you move forward. I’ve been working
on typing up some of my scribbles alongside adding more to my notebook, and I’ve
realised just how much my thought process is constantly changing. There are
parts that I’ve written that I now don’t like and others that I do, that I’ve forgotten
about. But for now, I just need to get it ALL down. The editing will come
later. But how do you stop the new ideas filtering in and letting them change
the course of the story that I’m trying to tell? I still don’t know the answer to this, but once
I have a better outline for my novel, maybe I will be able to filter these
things better, see how they don’t fit with my current plan. My honest opinion
is that even the best laid plans have chinks in them and I would love to hear
from an author that hasn’t amended their novel in some way as they’ve gone
along, that the end product differs from the initial idea, even in a small way.
And that can only mean a better story right?
‘But when you
re-read your writing, and even though it’s not perfect, it’s your own story and
that’s kind of amazing’
And so as the month
ends, I have lots to be positive about. I’ve written more that I’d expected, it
makes sense and there is plenty more where that came from. I’m proving to myself that I have it in me to
make the best use of my time and just want can be achieved in that time,
however small. I feel like I’m getting into the swing of things again, after a
period of wandering a little aimlessly. I just started a new job at work, and I
am certain that it is helping me with my writing. I feel happier and am a lot more
focused in that respect, which seems to be rubbing off elsewhere, so long may
it continue! There is a lot that I’ve said I will do in terms of knocking this novel into
shape over the last few months and many have yet to be started. But at least
the ideas are there, even if only in the early stages. Now I just need a large
chuck of time to put things into action. Excuses again, I know, but life does
have a habit of getting in the way, when you are not fortunate to be able to
write full time. But I’m off on holibobs in just a matter of days, to Cornwall
and I already have some thoughts of what I can gain from this much needed break
in terms of my writing. I have a list scribbled, with may be more to be added,
and I can already feel that by just being in the place that I need to be in
terms of location, it can only have a positive effect. I want to use the time
to really become my story and see it more clearly, the valuable thinking time
that I am so desperately lacking. I try to close my eyes each time I sit down
to write and transport myself there, into the world that I’m trying to create,
much like I feel each time I pick up a book to read. So just physically being
there, can only help me to move further forward still, I can’t wait!
