November 2016- 'Scribbled Thoughts'

I’m proud to say that it’s been a good month and the little bit of writing done just four or so short weeks ago continued for a majority of November so I’m feeling good! (so I promise not to be as negative in this post…)

Given that I felt I’d written a good amount, I thought that typing it up and adding everything to my expanding first draft would be useful, a chance to have all my words in one place. And as I was coming towards the end of of the notebook, it seemed a good time. It has been quite a realisation, that I’ve written much more than I thought and also that what is there, isn’t bad. When I’m going through one of my negative moments, and am finding it hard to write, I tend to forget all that I’ve done before and I need to try and not put a downer on that, celebrate the small victories. Okay, so I may not use all of what I’ve written in the long run, but they are all good ideas and not to be wasted, just getting that first draft written! Looking back on how much I’ve done since starting my novel over, I was surprised to find that I’ve done just over 30,000 words since I started to rewrite (out of the just over 48,000 noted) and having typed up as far as I’d got, found that I had 7,696 words just from this one notebook, and there is still more to be typed. So with all my scribbles, I’m nearly halfway there, and that is exciting stuff!  I have to say that I’m pleased with some of it too, although sorting it all out into some kind of order will be a huge task. Its one thing writing that 100,000 words (when I get there), but quite another to craft those words, sentences, paragraphs  and chapters into something that makes sense, joining it all up. That’s when the real fear will set in.

I’ve been working hard on setting aside time to write, and how best to use that time each day, depending on my mood and various other factors. Despite reading a quote that writing is not typing, I can’t say I agree. Writing by hand as I do, it means I can lose track of how much I’ve done. By spending some of my writing time typing, I can record all those thoughts and have also found that new ideas come up as I type, meaning my writing can continue, especially on those days when I’ve hit a bit of a wall. Typing allows me to collate everything in one place, build up a whole picture as well as generating new words along the way. But something else the quote shared was that researching, contemplating, composing in your head and with revisions along the way is writing, so that makes me feel better as I come to understand the whole process!

I’ve started a writing log using the memo app on my phone which I’m finding so useful. On those days when I feel I haven’t done much, I can see that I’ve done better than I thought. It maybe some ideas from the book that I’m currently reading, or the start of a new column, but it all adds up, it all has a meaning to my writing and how I’m developing as a writer. It’s important to note the small achievements each day and good to realise just how much I am doing over the course of a week or month. And looking back, its not been a bad month overall! Its also about knowing when to stop, for example when I have an evening in which to write, to be in a good place for both me and my writing, and I’m attempting to stop beating myself up, a paragraph or just one line of writing is better than nothing at all.

It was commented on recently how I hand write everything rather than use my laptop or some other device and type straight away. But I just find it easier and more comforting to have a physical notebook on me at all times, plus my laptop is just too big to carry around! I could invest, and maybe I will at some point, in something more, but what I have serves me well and there’s something old fashioned, yet exhilarating about filling the pages of a notebook with words and then when you do get round to typing them up, finding out just how much you’ve actually done.  And I’m learning that one of the hardest, but ultimately most rewarding things about writing is that you have to work out for yourself who and what you are as a writer, and how you yourself work best. And that leads me nicely on to tell you about something else I’ve been looking at this month. I’ve been listening to various podcasts and vlogs from other writers to keep me inspired whilst at work, listening and making notes (and working too!). And by doing that I’m finding that I can then be more focused (most of the time) on work and then my writing when it comes to my hour lunch break. So a big thank you this month to Miranda Dickinson, Cesca Major and Sarah Painter! J

This month has been very much about just getting words down on the page and I feel I’ve definitely achieved that, and so now its about moving forward and trying to get my elusive first draft done before my writing retreat/ course in March. I’m onto my forth notebook for my novel, which I find quite inspiring, so many words and ideas now and still more to come! To quote Miranda again, I’m making plans, finding out what I can control and ignoring what I can’t #staysparkly and its a good mantra to have, as well as ‘reading inspires me to write better.’ I’ve been making notes from the various novels that I’ve been reading, which in turn is sparking new ideas and inspiration for my own writing. But as always, it’s a bit of both for me too, as I just love to read! As I look on social media, in my gathering of thoughts, I’ve been seeing lots of pictures of other authors writing spaces. I know I keep going on about it, but I see then what I need, if only I had the space- a bigger desk and my own separate room for writing (and storing all my books!). I would love to have somewhere to retreat to, to have more space to spread out and create my own magic, with all that I need around me to inspire me, but at the moment its all a bit of a dream. That’s not to say that one day it won’t become a reality, but for now, I have to make the most out of what I have… I have a desk, now just to get a new chair that isn’t broken, and will hopefully be a bit more comfy!

And as I end the month, with more scribbled thoughts yet to be typed up and lots of ideas to explore, I’m feeling much more hopeful. Its about remembering to have faith, in myself and what I’m doing and the support I have behind me. It’s been an up and down year, but it’s not over yet, and I aim to end on a positive note so I can start next year in the same way. So for now, back to writing!!