December 2014

I'm sitting enjoying the peace and quiet, a day at home where I can just relax and do my own thing, after all the rush and busyness of the festive period. Don't get me wrong, I've loved it all, the singing and the church services and all the time spent with family, eating, drinking, walking and playing games. Its just nice to have one day and sit and reflect on the past month, and on the last day of 2014, the whole year too. I've been working on my main story over the last month and its coming along well. I read some of it at one of the Writer's Group manuscript evenings and received some positive feedback, so I'm looking forward to coming back to it now after a short break and seeing where the story will take me next. I've also started another story, gaining inspiration and the idea from a few of my favorite films, so will be interesting to see where I go with that one too.  I've tried to spend my lunch breaks whilst at work on reading as well as writing, and it seems to be working well, so will carry that routine on into the new year. I find that I also write much better that way, I'm not forcing myself to do just writing, I'm not sure I would like the end results, if there were any, if I was to work like that constantly.

I feel I made the right decision to stop writing this blog on a daily basis, I was spending too much time worrying about what to write and focusing on that, then losing the time to do any other writing. But I did do what I set out to do, which is write more, so a good positive came out of it, and I feel I have much more to say after a month!

Looking back over the year, I'm pleased with how far I've come. I joined the Writers Group back in January and I'm so glad I did. I never thought I'd now be able to say that I've had pieces published in an anthology as well as be contributing to a local newspaper column! I've written two columns now, and after receiving positive comments from the first one, am looking forward to the second coming out in early January. I have lots of ideas for future columns so will see what happens. Who knows what the new year will bring with my writing..... I'm excited to find out!

Day 35- goodbye for a short while...

Having looked at the number of people actually taking the time to read my blog and also the amount of time its taking me to decide what to write, I've come to a decision in that I will change to just writing once a month. Its not really that I care about the numbers, more about what I'm saying. The last thing I want to do is bore people! I also think I'll have more to say and share. That's not to say that I won't still be writing everyday, I have more than enough to keep me busy! Thank you to all those who have enjoyed the blog so far and I will see you again in a month!

' What is the best way to write? Each of us has to discover her own way of writing. Writing teaches writing. No-one can tell you your own secrets'- Gail Sher

' You write because you need to write, or because you hope someone will listen or because writing will mend something broken inside you or bring something back to life'- Joanne Harris

' Better to write for yourself and have no public than to write for the public and have no self' Cyril Connolly

' Get inspired and write a book'

That is what I will now attempt to do, and look forward to sharing my progress with you in a few weeks.

Day 34

'Writing makes me happy'

'We write by the light of every story we have ever read'- Richard Peck

'Books: Enter the unknown and discover something amazing'

Research is all part of the writing process, and I've spent more time recently trying to find out more information and inspiration to make sure that my story is right. Sometimes it's that research that then sparks the next sentence or paragraph, so all very useful, even if you don't realise it. I have so many ideas of different parts of my story now, its just trying to decide how to put it all into words that make sense and fit in with what I've already written. Discovering all these things and where it will take the story is, for me, one of the most exciting parts of putting a story together. However your idea starts, there will always be areas to look at and expand upon.

Work and free time is getting busier and quickly filling up, allowing less and less time to really focus on where my story is going (maybe I have my priorities all wrong?). I'm making the most out of my lunch breaks to try and keep writing, but looking forward to the Christmas break when I have the time to see the story as a whole, try and fit in all the different parts I have written. Have another article that I need to start planning too, so lots to keep busy with, as long as I stay happy too!

Day 33

'It starts with a scribble...'

' We all have a story to tell'

' A writer is simply a photographer of thoughts'- Brendan A. Trean

Another disappointing evening in terms of writing as jobs once again took over. But again, read my book and made notes as I went along. I'm finding that lunchtimes seem to be the best time for me to refocus and get things done, whilst at work, rather than in the evenings. Even if I try and make the time, I find I sometimes just need to relax and can be too tired to find the inspiration that I need. I just need to stop making excuses really and get on with it!

'Writing, like life itself, is a voyage of discovery'- Henry Miller

It certainly has been for me so far. Since I started thinking that I wanted to do more and discovered how much I loved to write, its been a rollercoaster.  When I was just scribbling the odd poem and ideas, it didn't seem to matter if I didn't write some days, and that was even the case after doing the university module and online fiction course. But over the last six weeks or so, from deciding to start my blog really, I have felt this strong desire to need to write something everyday, and not just the blog. Maybe that's a small sign that I'm actually starting to feel like a 'real' writer, who knows? I just know that I have all these ideas and want to get them down on paper, and I end up feeling guilty when I don't do that! It's not always that I can't, but sometimes that I just don't have the time,

I think I'm just going to have to be content with what I can physically achieve in a day and accept that life and reality can get in the way of even the best laid plans. I'm only human, and until the day comes (maybe) where I can say that I write for a living, this is how things will be. So for now, its off to find my little space to sit and write, and make the most of it.

Day 32

' Don't be paralysed by the idea that you're writing a book, just write'- Isabelle Allende

' A grand adventure is about to begin'- Winnie the Pooh

' Books bring you on a journey of the imagination which heighten all your senses'

' Surrender to what is, let go of what was, have faith in what will be'- Sonia Ricotti

Already feeling much better today than yesterday, so that's a good start! Reading last night did indeed provide me with some notes and ideas, different angles that I can incorporate into my story, so have lots to start thinking about. So although I didn't feel I had a good day overall, it certainly ended on a more positive note, Also scribbled an idea for a poem, hadn't done that for a while either.

Have been out all morning at a meeting, but has been a positive experience, feeling a part of something, that I am contributing in some way to. And although being busy ( that is what work should be) has meant that I haven't had the time to even scribble things over the morning, I  do feel much more positive overall though, meaning that I then function better, both with work and in my writing. Although attempting to squash in all that I want to do myself into my lunch break, I still feel that at the end of the day, I will have achieved more. Plus, another evening in tonight, for a change, so the ideal opportunity to make the most of it, hopefully!

A constructive hour, impressed with what I managed to fit in! More story done, using notes made last night, and blog also done, not bad for a short space of time- hopefully tonight will be just as constructive!

Week 7- day 31!

'Write your first draft with your heart. Rewrite with your head'- Finding Forrester

' The greatest pleasure of writing is not what it's about, but the inner music the words make'- Truman Capote

' Write the kind of story you would like to read' Meg Cabot

' Starting a novel is opening a door on a misty landscape; you can still see very little, but you can smell the earth and feel the wind blowing'- Iris Murdoch

It's been a long weekend of singing and rehearsing but the concert is now done and I felt very proud of what we achieved as a choir. Now onto the next thing... As the weekend was so busy, I've had little time (or energy) to sit down and do any writing, so looking forward to seeing what this week brings, starting today!

Despite all my wonderful and inspiring quotes, not a great start to the week, so feeling a little downhearted. I was very distracted first thing this morning, trying to get some things sorted out, so didn't even really have time to work on the blog for today (otherwise I wouldn't have done any work at all), I had great plans for when I got home, but again, got caught up in things and feeling tired after the weekend, so sadly those plans did not materialise tonight, and no real enthusiasm either. I will instead, have to content myself with just a bit of research (reading another novel and a book about the area), in the hope that some positive notes and ideas come out of them. I can then start again tomorrow, feeling a bit more refreshed and with hopefully time to myself, with nothing else to worry over!

I could beat myself up over the lack of writing today, but that won't help anything. I had a really positive week last week, so will focus on that to build myself back up. Life has well and truly taken over today and I've not made any space for anything else. Still it's only Monday....

Day 30- end of week 6!

' I can write my book. I should write my book. I will write my book'

I don't know what other writers find the easiest way to write, but for me, I have to start everything by hand, and usually in pencil too, just in case! If I was to ask published authors, I would probably find that I am a little old fashioned in my methods, and that most people type straight away, or use an electronic devise of some description for making notes/ jotting down ideas. Saying that, whenever I have been to Writers Group or an event as part of a literary festival, quite a few people are sitting there with a notebook, pen poised! I don't know what it is about pen and paper, but I just find my words flow easier, plus I write quicker and better by hand, than I type (I swear I have dyslexic fingers!). Hence carrying more than one notebook around with me, all full of different things, and ready for when ideas pop into my head, plus I do have a bit of a love of all things stationary...

Had the new rota for the Write Away column yesterday and I'm not down for the week that I'd worked out (more people now added to the rota) so have now abandoned the piece I'd started and been trying to think of a few new ideas that would fit around / be relevant to my publish date. Something else to get started on and keep me on my toes!

Having that type of day today where I'm not in the mood for doing any work, but not unhappy, just distracted. Think it's a Friday thing! I've attempted to do some work, but just want to write and chat! So now I suppose I had better attempt to re-focus and at least start working, even just for a little while...

' It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop' - Confucius

'I am the Master of my fate. I am the Captain of my soul'- Invictus

Day 29

' My head is a hive of words that won't settle'- Virginia Woolf

' The first draft is just you telling yourself the story'- Terry Pratchett

'Stay motivated. Focus on progress, not perfection.'

I feel proud of what I've achieved so far this week in my writing. Still a long way to go I think, until the first draft is finished, but at least on the way, and hopefully heading in the right direction. The feedback from Writers Group was just what I needed to spark some new thoughts and ideas and to spur me to carry on with it. Who knows whether it will be a short story, as I originally intended, or maybe a novel (as someone suggested), we will see! Apart from doing some more detailed research, which has proved to be very useful, as well important for getting the small details right, I'm also planning on trying to read some novels of a similar genre and topic and/or set in the same kind of location, in order to glean more tips. I don't want to copy someone else's work, obviously, but think it's also important  to read other work to influence your own, as well as bringing out your own voice. Like I've said before, there's no copyright on ideas, and each person will put their own take on an idea in order to bring it to life.

' First drafts don't have to be perfect. They just have to be written.'

I spent more time today working on my story and it always amazes me, as I start to write, where the story goes. I'm not always sure when I start what I want to say, but the words just seem to flow as soon as I put pen to paper, it's exciting!

Day 28

'There is something delicious about writing the first words of a story. You never quite know where they'll take you'- Beatrix Potter

Quite a positive evening last night at Writers Group. I read some of my story and received some lovely and positive feedback, as well as some new thoughts and ideas of where the story could go, so excited to carry on and see what happens. I was initially worried about reading it out, when it's only a first draft and nowhere near finished, but in the end, it turned out to be a good idea and gave me the extra enthusiasm I needed.  Another positive was seeing my column printed in the paper. It's spurred me on to finish the article I've started, ready for when the next one is due. Just really enjoying discovering my writing at the moment, long may it continue!

'If you are a writer, or want to be a writer, this is how you spend your days... listening, observing, storing things away, making your isolation pay off. You take home all you've taken in, all that you've overheard, and turn it into gold (or at least you try).'- Anne Lamott

Nice to know that I am at least trying to do what I should be doing! Unfortunately I can't spend all day on it (as much as I would love to), but certainly making the best  out of the time I have. I will also try and open my mind a bit more, even when I'm busy with other things, like singing or work, they say inspiration can come at anytime!

'The only writer to whom you should compare yourself is the writer you were yesterday'- David B. Schlosser

' You are confined only by the walls you build yourself'

' Simple stuff works'

Day 27

'There is no rule on how to write. Sometimes it comes easily and perfectly, sometimes its like drilling rock and then blasting it out with charges' -Ernest Hemingway

A constructive evening last night of more writing on the story, with still so much to discover and ideas to get down. I'm excited to see where it goes. Because I felt so positive and that I'd achieved what I wanted, I went to the extra choir practice that had been put on (I wasn't going to go if I hadn't done what I felt I needed to do) and went over a piece we were struggling on, which went well overall, so the positive vibe has carried on, thankfully!
Already this morning I can feel the enthusiasm bubbling under the surface, raring to get going on more writing. I just hope that the morning of work doesn't dampen it to much, that I feel just as excited to carry on when lunchtime comes and I actually get the chance to do what I want.

' Be positive, be patient, be persistent.'

A good mantra to remember, especially when you feel that everything else is getting in the way of your writing. It was a hard morning and I was unsure whether I would have the energy to separate myself from work. But just by making sure I got some fresh air and a change of scenery, I have managed to glean back some of my enthusiasm from earlier. And it's just what I needed to make me feel better. Whatever happens, work or personal wise, I need to turn it around to my advantage, and use it in my writing.

Look at the blank pages before you with courage'

Starting a new story or project can be a daunting experience, especially when all that stares back at you is a haze of white. But once you let your pen touch the paper, the words will flow and you won't even realise that you had so much to say. I'm not even bothered (in some way) if no-one reads my blog everyday, as long as I have said what I wanted and achieved my own goal of writing everyday. If I can inspire someone else with my words in the future, then that's an added bonus! Now to get back to the story....

' I write to find out what I didn't know I knew'- Robert Frost

Day 26- Week 6!

Feeling very positive after the weekend and just hope the enthusiasm stays with me! Had an amazing day in Brighton on Saturday, lots to take in and do. Although no inspiration/ scribbling as such whilst we were there, took quite a few photos so always something to look back on. Achieved what I went there to do too, so came away feeling very positive (as well as tired). The enthusiasm continued into Sunday and once the jobs were out the way, set aside some time to write. I started by typing up my story, and in doing so, sparked the excitement I first felt when I came up with the idea, resulting in a positive research session, its all part of the process! Feel a little clearer too about where I want to go with it, so all good!

' Write, read, write some more.'

'Taking time to live life will only inspire your work'

' Its okay to start writing even if you don't have a clear vision of what you are going to write'

' Write: Find a seat. Find a pen. Find your voice'

Done!! I always like to find somewhere to sit at lunchtime in order to separate myself from work and refocus. The enthusiasm has continued (thankfully) into today, so using all the research I did yesterday, as well as the ideas flying round my head, I'm excited to get going. Hopefully the rest of the week will carry on in much the same way....

Another positive for today is that I have an interview for the job that I applied for, so something to work towards at least. Will try tot to get my hopes up too much though as much further to fall otherwise! Will just have to wait and see now, but amazing what a bit of positive thinking does for the mood and creativity!

' Dream on, dream on, dream until your dreams come true'

Day 25- end of week 5!

' I write only because there is a voice within me that will not still'- Sylvia Plath

' You can, you should, and if you're brave enough to start, you will'- Stephen King

I will use that mantra to spur me on to actually get some writing done over the weekend, as I finally have some time to myself (with nothing planned) and I can't wait. I've spent a lot of time recently being very distracted, both work wise and writing wise so don't feel I've got much done over all. I always seem to have an excuse (I'm only human after all) and write on here how I'm going to do things, so time to stop talking and start doing!! I think I will feel much better overall if I was more focused at work, and then I could really utilise the time I have to myself.

'I find that I write the best .... when I'm supposed to be doing something else'

I've been spending work time on Pinterest, collecting ideas, quotes and using them to start off each blog , but then scribbling and typing up the blog each day, also during work time, which then makes me feel guilty at the end of the day. I know that if I was completely enjoying my role, I would probably be less distracted ( well, I would at least hope!). Until that day comes where I get to write full time and get paid for it (I can keep dreaming) I almost need to get my head out if the clouds a bit and change my way of thinking. If I'm being negative, then things don't tend to happen, and the same goes for my writing. I have wondered if doing the blog on a daily basis is too much- I'm focusing on getting that done and leave no time for anything else- and sometimes I don't feel that I have much to say. Another option is to share my rambling thoughts some days, and on others, look at doing reviews of books/ sharing pieces of writing in order to vary things- think I'm almost starting to bore myself a bit and that's the trouble, if that happens, writing will become a chore and not something I enjoy doing. So I will experiment for a bit and see what happens!

Off to Brighton for the day tomorrow, so hoping that brings lots of inspiration, as long as I let it flow! Looking forward to taking some proper time out on Sunday to really look at things and see where they take me. The Christmas holidays are not too far away now, and with the university being shut for a few days, the ideal opportunity to really get my teeth into things, free my mind. Life's too short to keep making excuses!

'A writer who waits for ideal conditions under which to work will die without putting a word on paper'

Day 24

'Keep a notebook. If only for the sake of getting out of your own head'

Sometimes I feel like I have too much going round in my mind, causing my head to hurt, like its too full. But then it's a struggle to get down everything in some kind of order, that makes sense. I suppose the fun is coming back to the scribbles to try and understand what you were thinking at the time, recapture the enthusiasm.

'No-one can stop you from being a writer. All you have to do is write, and keep writing' -Katherine Neville

' Just write everyday of your life. Read intensely. Then see what happens.'- Ray Bradbury

I love this statement!! And it is something I'm definitely trying to follow at the moment. At least by doing my blog each day I'm writing something, but is it at the expense of writing other things? I just wish I had more time, and the space in my mind, to shut out everything else, the general busyness and noise of life and really re-focus. That's what I find the hardest, and then I just hit a wall of blank. No inspiration comes, not even by losing myself in a book, and then the fear creeps in. But I am the only one stopping myself, so I just need to keep writing, and as quoted above, see what happens....

Day 23

'Every writer I know has trouble with writing'- Joseph Heller

Nice to know you are not alone! On those days when all you can do is stare at what you have started, with no idea what to do next, sometimes you need to take a step back and remember what sparked the idea in the first place. Unless you are a professional writer/author and are used to writing (or having to write) a certain amount of words a day, even just an idea or a line is a start. I would love to be able to know what you have to do to be able to write thousands  of words each day, where all that inspiration comes from, but maybe it ends up just being habit after a while. Something to definitely aspire to!

'You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream'- CS Lewis

Something that has been on my mind a lot lately, especially since work has been frustrating me so much. I recently applied for another position in the hope that it will provide me with the extra challenges and experience that I'm missing in my current role. Just waiting to see if I've been shortlisted now, so keeping my fingers crossed. One day I would love to earn money from doing something that I love (writing!!), but for now I will have to be realistic and wait my turn. But that's not to say that I won't be working hard on things in the meantime. Still struggling to get the balance right and find enough time to do all that I want, especially during the week, the diary is quickly filling up! Hopefully after Christmas, some things will quieten down (outside of work) and I can plan my time more. But for today, I will try and keep my mind open, gaining inspiration where I can ( and fitting in the scribbling in between work) and maybe even a few spare minutes just to read....

'Reading gives us a place to go when we have to stay where we are'

Day 22

'Words have the power to change us' - Cassandra Clare

' The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt' - Sylvia Plath

A constructive evening of research and planning last night. Although I'm keen to carry on with my story, I've reached a point where I'm not sure where I'm going and I'm very much aware that I've already rambled on too much and need to give the story more direction, hence the planning. The next step is to try and edit what I've already done (taking out the parts I know aren't needed) before I carry on, as I don't want to lose where I want the story to go. I'm also struggling to find the same inspiration from when I first thought of the idea, hence trying to do some research, find some visuals to help get me going again. A bit of writing done last night in the end though as carried on with the poem I started last week.

'There is no friend as loyal as a book' - Ernest Hemingway

So true, and what I always turn to. Either to lose myself in, when I'm feeling down as a source of comfort, or as research (or so I keep telling myself), a book can have so many uses. My long term aim would be to at least write one novel, but at the moment I'm building up to that, working on the poems and short stories I've already started. As I've said before, I'm not even sure I have a novel in me, but you never know what the future will bring. The more I write, the more confident I will hopefully become. Another poem started today, so good to feel I am at least doing a bit of writing (apart from the blog), small steps...

Spent most of my lunch break lost in my book, so much so, that I managed to finish it! I love it when you can do that with a story. But not going to feel too guilty, after all, it is only be reading lots that we truly learn how to write....

' Books build a stairway to your imagination'

Week 5- Day 21

'Keep calm, and imagine'

That's all it can take in order to get the creativity flowing. Unfortunately its not always something that we can realistically do, and I'm sure published authors/ writers will tell you the same. Life keeps getting in the way. But oh how lovely it would be if it didn't! To shut your eyes and let your mind be transported to a completely different place, where stories and thoughts can come alive. It's definitely a place that I need to visit more often.

'Create something lasting that you're proud of '

An aim for every aspiring writer and something I am still working towards. Of course I am proud of the poems and short stories that I've already finished (two published in the anthology) and the positive comments received from those people that have already read them, but I would now like to complete a longer project, so need to be carrying on with my latest story! Despite having work to do and being busier at work, therefore not having as much time as I did before, I'm feeling positive and already looking forward to spending more time later to look at things, make plans and carry on writing where I've left off, hopefully without any real distractions. It's rare to have the time on my own where I don't have anything else to do, so looking forward to making the most of it!

'Write because its a chance to remind people of just how miraculous and amazing ordinary things are'- Frank Cotterell Boyce

'Keep calm, and carry a pen and notebook'

The two things I would be lost without, and are in my bag wherever I go! Some days nothing gets written and other, I keep having to open and scribble. I have three notebooks in my bag for ideas , quotes and starting stories, another for writing my blog and column pieces ( as well as notes from any useful books) and another by my bed, just in case. You can never have too many, as you cannot predict when you will need them! The challenge is all about turning those scribbles into something that others will want to read....

End of week 4!

'You can't use up creativity, the more you use, the more you have'- Maya Angelou

' If it's still in your mind, it is worth taking the risk'

The day did end on a (mostly) positive note yesterday, and again, that has carried on into today. Work has picked up a bit which helps, but still taking a bit of time to get going first thing in the morning once I'm in the office.

The inspiration did start flowing when I got up (much like yesterday) and had an idea for my next column piece (based on when I think it will be published) so started to scribble a bit of that whilst it was still in my mind. Trouble is, that then meant we left a few minutes later than planned and the traffic being as bad as it is at the moment, made us a bit late for work! Still, I got here and am doing what I'm paid for. Unfortunately,by the time I get to work, the inspiration has dried up a bit and I have my 'work' head on.

'Take time to do what makes your soul happy'

I know that's writing for me. I'm happiest when the creativity is flowing and I'm lost in my imagination.(same goes for reading a book) The  feeling when you've created a piece of writing is amazing, even if its just for yourself, rather than a deadline/ competition for someone else to read. I suppose that I try and read quite a few of my poems (and short stories, when I've finished them) at Writers group, so I still have an audience. The feedback I receive is always constructive and positive, spurring me on to do more.... So will see what the weekend brings, making sure I have time to both read and write, to escape to a literary world.....


'When I've had too much reality, I open a book...'

Day 19

How different a new day can be. Unfortunately the day didn't end in the positive way it had begun and that tension seems to have carried over to today. I just seem to keep letting stupid little things get to me and then I get wound up.

'Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, its about learning to dance in the rain'

And that's what I've been trying to do as the day has progressed. I've kept myself busy with work and its nice to actually have things to do after the last couple of weeks. Have to say I was really starting to struggle. I'm wondering if that's what was causing my headaches as certainly hasn't been as bad over the last couple of days, so wondering if I was stressing about the lack of work and motivation without realising. I hope so and that things now start to improve in my mind. Taking some time out to just sit and be at one with myself has also helped, to clear and calm things.

Despite the funny mood first thing this morning, I did manage to start a poem! I'm not sure where it will go next (only 1 verse done so far) but it felt good to start something new, I haven't done that for a while. I've come to the conclusion that there is never a right time to sit and write, you have to fit in where you can, and when the mood and inspiration takes you (if like me, the rest of the time is taken up with the reality of the every day). And that's not necessarily when its right for you (lunchtime for me, when I can put time aside). But on the other hand, I want to make sure that it isn't the case where I don't have any time at all to be creative and separate myself from the every day.

'Write for yourself, keep your writing true'

'I'm just going to write because I cannot help it'- Charlotte Bronte

' The desire to write grows with writing'

I may have started the day feeling negative, but I hope to end it feeling much more positive and ready for whatever is thrown at me. Amazing what a bit of focus and fresh air can do (and maybe a cup of coffee)!

Day 18

'Its amazing what you can become if you just get out of your own way'

I'm loving using Pinterest!! Its full of amazing quotes and helpful tips and in general, just help to get me going,but getting very pin happy at the moment! Still, a wonderful way to share ideas and find new things, I think I'm starting to become a little obsessed!

Had a lovely evening last night at the launch of our new Writers Group Anthology. I finally have my own printed copy and to see my name in black and white, it was quite a special moment. I felt proud to be amongst the other members of our group/ contributors and feel I had done something good, towards  remembering those who have gone before us. All my close family and two special friends were able to be there to support both my sister and I, and I'm so grateful for that. Although, I don't think they'll ever know how much. If it hadn't been for my sister, I would have never joined the writer's group, so she has a lot to answer for! Along the whole journey so far as a writer, I wouldn't have succeeded if it hadn't  been for the support of my family and friends, and that's the most important thing when you're starting out, on any new venture.

Today has been spent in a meeting (all day) so no time to do any writing at all, but back to feeling I at least have a purpose at work (struggling the last couple of weeks), and have contributed to something important. So a positive overall, so generally inspired! Will definitely be making more time to fit it all in tomorrow though....

' A little magic can take you a long way' Roald Dahl

Day 17

A bit disappointed with myself last night as didn't achieve all that I planned, but today is a new day so we'll see what happens. That's the trouble with me, I beat myself up if I don't feel I've done enough. I spent the evening looking through past copies of the local paper for ideas for column articles. Not much jumped out particularly, but already have a few ideas, just need to make something out of them, get a few pieces prepared for future columns. I did something constructive, just not completely what I wanted, but I have no deadlines for my own stories so not sure why I always feel so guilty! Nothing will come if I force it too much and I need to take a step back and remember that now and again. Just get things down as I think of them and make sense out of it all afterwards!
I've spent the last few weeks (during lunch breaks) reading a creative writing guide, but now I think I need to spend the time putting what I've learnt into practice and just get writing! Apart from my blog, which I do on a daily basis during the week, and the first column piece, I haven't really written much lately. I've done a bit of my latest story, but not as much as I would have liked, and can't remember the last time I wrote a poem. The ideas keep coming, but I have yet to sort through and create anything with them. Time to stop make excuses and WRITE!
Life gets in the way, with work and hobbies (choir in particular), but I'm attempting to try and keep things balanced so I get enough time (even if its only a short amount) to get everything done that I want, but have to realise, that sometimes there are just not enough hours in the day!

' Don't make nothing of what you've achieved'

'Keep putting words on the page'- Anne Enright

' You can make anything by writing'- CS Lewis

Week 4- Day 16

'Write down who you were, who you are and what you want to remember'- Natalie Goldberg

A great starting point for the day, especially when I'm feeling a little brain dead and things are taking a while to wake up and get going. The trouble is that I have too much floating around in my head, but have yet to make sense of it all. I know I just want to get on and write, but not sure where to start, story of my life really!

' A real writer doesn't want to write, a real writer has to write'

'Never apologise for how much you love to write'

'Think, Write, Create.'

'There is no wrong or right, just write.'

'Writing is a way of life. It's not just something I do, it's who I am.'

I have so many things that I've started and not finished. I know it doesn't matter if you keep starting new things, so long as you are writing, but still get that feeling telling me to go back and see where I can take them, and that's what's going round in my head today. I'm wondering if I need to look over what I've done so far and write some kind of plan/ outline of where I want the story to go. I have a tendency to just sit and write whatever comes into my head, which isn't a bad thing, but also means I overwrite and feel I'm going away from what I want to say. I feel my stories  would be much better if I laid out a clearer plan of where it's going. So that's my next task for today sorted....

'Books turn muggles into wizards'

End of week 3!

In a bid to wake myself up a bit on these dark mornings, I've been trying to read at least one chapter of my book. A chance to lose myself for just 5 minutes or so in a different world, and also, in the hope that it will get the imagination going in some way. I read yesterday that to be a good writer, you need to read lots and I certainly do that! So does that mean each time I read, I can call it research....?
I think I'm going to have to start looking properly at all the things I do outside of work, try and get the balance right. Heard last night about all the future plans for our choir, and its going to be a busy year and beyond, but one suggestion is that I spend more time on learning pieces for choir. I could see the point, and I want to get things right, but not at the expense of the other things I enjoy doing, that's the last thing I want. In that way, I need to use the spare time I do have in a much more constructive and oragnised way- making the time to write as well as sing- the last thing I want to do is make myself unhappy by taking the enjoyment out of the things I love.

' You don't need a plan to start writing a book. All you need is an idea'- Natasha Lester

And the rest will come as you start to write! This is especially what I am finding at the moment. I keep coming back to the same story. I love the initial idea and just want to build on it, but sometimes struggle with overwriting and going off in the wrong direction ( suppose that's what editing is for!) But I'm determined to keep adding to it, I'll get there in the end!

' Almost all good writing begins with terrible first efforts, you need to start somewhere' Anne Lamont

So true! Now excited to go back and look at all the projects I've already started and see what happens next, or what new ideas come along!

Day 14

'Do, or do not. There is no try' - Yoda

A quote from my favourite Star Wars character. I have registered on Pin Interest today, following a suggestion from a friend, to find lots of thoughts and advice on writing, so a very useful tool to keep an eye on, on a daily basis. But Yoda is right. I constantly feel like I am trying, but I'm either writing or I'm not, there's no middle ground (its called procrastination!). I've been learning that the hard way, inspiration coming in short bursts and not always when I want it to, but you can't force these things either. Despite a fantastic evening  last night of live music and some ideas for articles, nothing seems to be flowing so far today. But the day is not yet over, so I will keep plodding on...

'Write a page a day, only 300 words and in a year, you will have a novel' -Stephen King

Another fantastic quote and something I can at least aspire to, realistically. The hardest part of starting out as a writer is finding your way, your voice, and knowing what to write each day. I'm often scribbling ideas and reading books for inspiration. But I still consider that as 'doing'- it will all contribute to something eventually. I've also given myself a number of projects that I could potentially be working on, depending on where the mood takes me, and in the hope that I can at least do a little bit on one, if not any of the others.

'If a story is in you, it has to come out'- Elizabeth Adeniyi

Taking inspiration from someone else's words and making them your own. That is essentially what all of us as writers are doing. Whether it's from something you've read, heard or seen. Have no fear and believe in the talent you have been given, you never know where it will take you.

Day 13

I don't really like this time of year, work wise. It's too quiet and I find myself with not much keep me busy. At least I now have my writing to fill in the time, but you do end up feeling guilty when you're getting paid for a job and seemingly just using the time to do your own thing (well I do). It would be so lovely to be able to do what you love each day as some people are lucky enough to do, but for the meantime, for the rest of us, its back to reality and the 'day' job', and trying to find the time to do what we really love in between.
I've spent some time today trying a new kind of writing, rather more emotional than practical. It was suggested to me by a good friend and can be quite useful when emotions take over from your writing. I still have this strange headache ( a week on) and I'm starting to think that some of it's caused by tension( personal) which then affects my whole mood. I've been putting all this frustration into a letter to the person (at this time) who is bothering me, and although it will never be sent, has certainly made be feel slightly better. freeing up my mind to focus on other things. Now to attempt to spend the rest of the day pondering some 'actual' writing, see what happens....

Day 12

Isn't it annoying and frustrating when the words come at the wrong time? After a whole day of nothing, the evening was spent working on my story, and a good amount despite the mood earlier in the day. At least I achieved what I wanted, that's the main thing. And then, as I'm attempting to go to bed, the ideas are whirring round in my mind, no settling down to sleep until its all scribbled down. But I suppose that's what being a writer is all about and inspiration really can come at any time (night or day), however inconvenient that may be!
So from last night, the good 'mood' has continued into today. I received feedback on my column piece, all positive and made the suggested changes, and now I'm on the rota! It's official, I am now a contributor to the Leighton Buzzard Observer 'Write Away' column and I couldn't be more excited to see my first piece in a few weeks time, in a printed paper! I'm excited too, to be able to add something else to my achievements so far in writing. They may not mean much to anyone else, but its all important to me, in allowing me to continue to expand and explore my writing voice. I'm determined today to spend my time more wisely, if not much work to do, writing it is, as plenty to be working on!
Saw a good quote on my way out for lunch:

' If you don't believe in yourself, no-one else will'

So true! The more I've believed in my writing, the more positive feedback I've received and it keeps me going on the not so good days. Having something, however small, published, either in the paper or in the anthology makes everything feel so much more real, does that mean I can start calling myself a writer now?

Week 3- day 11

The sun is shining and it's a beautiful autumnal day. Then why do I feel so fed up?? Just looking out the window should lend itself to a wealth of ideas, yet today I have none. It's that Monday feeling again, and its not just affecting my work mood, but also my creativity. Nothing has inspired me so far, so despite not having much work to do, I haven't managed to fill the time with any writing either. Managed to read during lunch, in my normal spot, used the time to just think and lose myself in another world, one I think I would much rather be in today. Still not that many ideas, but already planning to try and work on my story later, so that's got to be a small positive at least, that I'm thinking about it! So as I feel that I don't have a lot to say today, instead I want to share a poem that reflects on how I'm feeling. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.....

Writers Block

Just staring at the blank page or into space ahead

Not knowing where to start, doing other things instead

Feeling  a strong need to just write down

The words in my head keep running around

So easily distracted, either by TV or book

Putting pen to paper, the last place to look

Hating the days when I hit that wall

Feeling useless, no inspiration at all

No creativity flowing through my veins

Nobody to assist me, take the reins

Body wound up and tensed right through

Emotions raging, don’t know what to do.

Waiting for the ideas to come or flow

Listening for snippets of conversation to make me go

Shutting off my mind from the world that surrounds

Focusing on the creativity to get off the ground

End of week 2!

' Nothing wrong with having a dream, sometimes they even come true'

A good quote from a person close to me, thank you for spurring me on! Started the day well with more ideas on what to include in 'Write Away' column. The more I've thought about the idea, the more excited I am to be included (if I'm good enough). I've already drafted my first idea and looking forward to feedback from my fellow writers (who already write for the column) to see if its along the right lines, I hope so. It will be another avenue for my writing, allowing me to learn to write to a deadline and a specific word count as well as maybe finding and honing my 'voice'.
When I decided I wanted to explore creative writing I never envisaged that a year or so on, I would have done the courses that I've done and joined a writers group, let alone expanded on my writing. I just thought poetry was my thing, but now I've started a handful of short stories, a blog and considered contributing to a regular newspaper column and even been 'published' in our anthology! Just goes to show that anything can happen if you put your mind to it, and when I'm having a bad day, feeling like I've hit a wall, I need to remember how far I've already come.
Writing makes me happy. I feel like I have some kind of purpose. I'm not sure why I didn't think about it earlier. I suppose we all dream to be this fantastic writer someday ( and I will keep on dreaming and hoping), but unless you unlock that creativity, and let the pen hit the paper, its not going to happen. I'm so happy that I unleashed my dragon, and hope that it continues to grow.

Day 9

All I seem to have done this morning is stare at my computer or out the window and procrastinate. I know I said about doing my own thing alongside work, but don't seem to have achieved anything of either so far. Feeling a bit flat and wound up for no reason, so will attempt to turn it into something more positive, writing it down! Already by putting pen to paper I can feel some of the tension easing slightly. The strange headache  mentioned is still there, almost like my head is too full, emotions and words unable to escape and flow easily. Or maybe it is some kind of seasonal thing, I know the change in weather and seasons can affect people in different ways, the dark mornings and damp and cold weather have certainly affected my mood over the last couple of weeks. I seem to spend a lot of time on the go, trying to fit everything in, like I said, sometimes work just gets in the way, but unfortunately it is a necessity! Coffee was needed to wake me up and then once I'd started one thing, I felt somewhat better and able to concentrate a little better. Relaxing music through the headphones has also been a factor!
Something else that has helped today, and I should maybe think more about each day is faith. Recently I feel I'm trying to take it more seriously, instead of for granted as it's always been a part of my life. Its become clearer, helped me to focus and take time out in order to unburden and clear my mind. In that respect I feel its very much like writing, and so not only do I have faith in my life and myself, I also believe in my writing. A bit deep, but something I needed to share. And so in the words of the book I'm reading by Mitch Albom, 'have a little faith', it can go a long way.

Day 8

As I went to bed last night, words and sentences were still whirring round in my head, unable to wait until the morning to be written down. Ideas for today's blog and whether I will write a column contribution for 'Write Away', too much going on to go to sleep straight away. That's what happens after a Writer's Group meeting, I feel inspired and full of ideas, and the need to get everything down straight away, not always good when its already late and I have to get up early! The light was off and then on again so many times I lost count, in my rush to get all the ideas down before I could finally settle to sleep. Will I add my name to the list for Write Away? I don't know yet. At last night's meeting, I felt unsure, but thought it would be at least a good idea to find out more. It was certainly an interesting evening, and although I still feel the same, (unsure) I have already had a few ideas of topics to write about and would at least like to give it a go, before giving up on the idea when I haven't tried. I've had a strange headache for a little while, starting to wonder if its just from thinking too much! As I sit at my desk today, I'm thinking about all the things I want to start writing. There just isn't enough time in the day to do all that I want or need to do, work just seems to get in the way sometimes! So I have decided that as long as I get my work done, there's no harm in trying to get my own things done in between is there? After all, when you have the urge to write, you just have to follow it! (ooo,  I sound like a 'proper' writer today...)

Day 7

Had a good evening last night, as hoped, I managed to write a little of my latest story, but at least it was something! Hoping to carry on a bit today. The fact that I'm already thinking about it is a good sign. I'm still trying to get the balance right between work and creativity, not let the brain shut down completely on the creative side. I'm always attempting to keep my mind open to ideas, a few scribbles already this morning, so its working! Another blustery walk over to campus, the wind literally taking the breath and words out of mouth, but now wide awake and ready to get into my 'other' state of mind. Sometimes I think I'm a little hard on myself, trying to force something out that maybe isn't there, just for that day. I want to be able to write something (even if just a little) each day, but its not always that easy, even when I try and re-focus and empty my mind of the everyday niggles, for a short while. But then I suppose writing this blog every day is something, and I need to remember that.Watching the sun today reflects how I'm feeling, first its out and bright and then it disappears behind a cloud, a bit like my creativity!
I'm currently reading 'The Creative Writing Student's Handbook' and its already proving very useful. I'm relatively new to writing, stories particularly and I'm only trying short stories at the moment. I have yet to discover if I have a novel in me. Its been an interesting read so far, especially when I've read a chapter after I've scribbled more of my story, it makes me see all the things I'm doing wrong, or can change. I have an idea in my head and trying to get it all down, but have a tendency to overwrite, and looking over what I've done so far, there is already quite a bit that can be edited out, even before I've really started to get going. I know what I want to happen in some form, but not sure how long it will take me to get there, but then I suppose that's all part of the process and will be interesting to see if the finished product is the same as what I envisaged in my head at the start!

Day 6- start of week 2!

Monday comes around far too quickly and I'm back at work. No blogging or much writing ( a few scribbles only) over the weekend, too busy enjoying the time off! But it does mean that I feel a bit uninspired today, work and house issues taking over. Even the car journey (on my own today) didn't help, not sure I was awake enough! Its taken my lunch break to (literally) blow the cobwebs away, and after a blustery walk to wake me up, I felt ready to immerse myself into the world of writing. Funnily enough, even found inspiration for a poem from the worries that I had, really shows that ideas can come from the most unlikely sources!
I bought a selection of books, CD's and a DVD on Saturday, so lots of new material from which to grasp ideas. There's nothing quite like the feel and smell of a new book, I'm excited every time to open to the first page and begin reading. Who knows, maybe one day someone will feel like that about something I've written. Even with the take over of technology (kindles, e-books etc), people are still buying hard copies of  books from the high street and online, and I think that's a testament of how important they are to both readers and writers alike. I personally don't have any kind of iPad/ kindle/ tablet and it really doesn't bother me if people think I'm still stuck in the past, I will still pack one or two novels to take on holiday! Like I said, I believe you don't get the same feeling on a e-reader that you do with a 'real' book.
My mind feels awake now and going into overdrive with ideas and I'm already thinking about the writing I want to do when I get home, how I want my latest story to go, and I only hope that keeps me going through the rest of the afternoon at work, and lasts until I get home and can get to work and put some of the thought process onto paper...

The end of week 1!

So the end of my first week as a blogger! I started with a lot of thoughts that I wanted to share, so I've noticed that towards the end of the week, I haven't necessarily felt that I've got as much to say, but then again, each day is different and you never know what will come to you. I feel that I have let work take over the last couple of days and my creativity has been suppressed a little, but I just need to get the balance right. I saw a quote the other day and it is so true:

You are a writer already. Today. Now
So start writing the book, the novel, the blog, your life's work.
Today is a good time to start. Now is even better.

I will attempt to make this my mantra of sorts, to push me each day, even when I feel I have nothing to say. I need to keep taking a step back each time from the everyday, shut out work worries and re- focus my mind. The break for lunch today helped me to do just that and I found that ideas kept coming, lines for my story or ideas for poems, from all directions! Even the smallest thing, an idea, a few scribbles, I still consider a contribution to my writing as I never know where it may lead. Another useful quote I read this week kind of reflects this:

'There is no copyright on ideas'

I'm already finding this useful, sentences and ideas from books that I'm reading, I'm interested in what direction they take me (compared to where I found them).

So this week has been really positive and I feel that I have already made changes to my way of thinking. By using my blog as a way of putting my thoughts down, I've noticed things about myself and am trying to ensure that I change how I deal with things on a personal level, using my writing as a calming tool. If this is what deciding to write a blog can do, I don't know why I didn't do it earlier!

Day 4

No rambling thoughts today, the brain was obviously still asleep on the way to work and it was also my turn to drive. Not travelling alone certainly makes a difference to the thought process. Instead, I would like to share a poem that I feel reflects how I'm feeling, both in my work and my writing, so please enjoy!

Rambling

On the outside, looking in

Not really knowing where to begin

Quiet and thoughtful, don’t want to talk

Just open the door, leave and walk

Subdued and cold, do I belong?

Oh if everyday could be a song

No worries, unhappiness or tears

A place where you can face your fears

To write it all down, a way of showing

To understand, be all knowing

Where you can feel you have a place

To be yourself, show your face

The poem and story, my space to hide

To flow, to dance and slowly glide

Every moment a happy and bright day

Not having to think about what I say

Expressing thoughts, words on the page

Happy or sad, or in a rage

To be exactly who you want to be

Something real or make believe to see

A life you can just pretend

To choose how you want it to end.

Day 3

The dark mornings always make it much harder to get up for work. I still feel like its the middle of the night. Words are not flowing as early today, so my brain obviously took longer to wake up. I felt good yesterday as I started two poems, it always amazes me once the pen hits the paper, what comes out of it, sometimes you don't even realise what's floating around in your mind until you start to write, and the dragon is unleashed. Looking back over the last year, I know this is what's happened to me and I have my sister to thank for that. I found I wanted to write, but didn't know how and where to start. So taking heed from what she'd done, I started a course. It was a creative writing module, which I was able to do through work. Although it showed me that I wanted to write for myself and not be 'marked' academically for it ( I chose not to do any further modules), it did what I wanted and that is to get me writing. Since then I've done a fiction writing course online and joined a local writers group, which is one of the best decisions I have ever made, and I haven't looked back since! Every two weeks I get to be around like minded people, sharing and talking about our writing. Just recently I've found out that pieces I submitted for the next anthology have been chosen, so extremely excited to be 'published' for the first time!!
Spent the journey in this morning, as well as my lunch break just taking the time to notice things around me properly, listening to the words on the CD we were listening to. It's not that I didn't want to talk, but it felt good to just sit back and take it all in, letting ideas come alive in my mind. The notebook is rapidly filling up with ideas and quotes, need to start putting more into projects now!

Day 2 and still going!

I could feel the creativity and words flowing in my head even as I got up, raring to go and get writing. I'm excited if a little wary of my blog now that I've actually started it, but it's got to be a positive right, if I wake up and already want to be writing??
My notebook is quickly running out of spare pages as I continue to fill it out with all my scribbles, ideas and beginnings of stories and poems, whatever comes into my head really. I always have my notebook with me, whether at work, or out shopping, you never know when an idea will come and if not written down, will be lost. Unfortunately I seem to get quite a few ideas when I'm driving on my own, so have to keep reminding myself of what I'm thinking until I get the chance, stuck in traffic or at a red light, to quickly get it down! This morning a poem came into my mind whilst I was trying to dry my hair, so had to keep stopping for fear the lines would disappear! You can't control inspiration...
Already had some positive comments about my blog, which has boosted the confidence and spurred me to carry on with my ramblings. Anything that gets my brain and pencil working at the start of the day has to be a good thing.
I could feel the creativity ebbing away the closer I got to work as I knew reality would take over as soon as I opened the door to the office. I spend too much time worrying about doing things right, getting too involved in the work I'm given, going beyond what I should be doing. I need to learn to step back and believe that I have done my part of the process to the best I can, now its someone else's turn.
This realization helped me to calm down and now as I sit in my own little place on campus, I can feel the words and ideas creeping back and I'm excited to see what else inspires me today.

Day One!

I stared dumbly at my screen, wondering why I bothered to even get up for work, its not even as if I hated my job, but I was starting to wonder if I was in the right place for me, all the reasons for applying for the job in the first place now not holding the same appeal. After losing a job I hated with a passion, I got the kick I needed to really start thinking about what I actually wanted to do, I had bumbled along for far too long. I had been so happy getting the job at the university, I felt that I'd finally found the place I belonged. Two and a half years on, doubts were creeping in and I could feel my feet itching to move on, do something else. Was it too much to ask to be happy, just for once?
I had a nagging feeling that unless I changed the way I thought, that I would never be happy in whatever I was doing. I had to start having a meaning to my life.
I made my escape for lunch, the break I needed in order to clear my head, get away from my desk. I felt guilty about all the time I'd wasted that morning, no real work done, just lots of internet surfing, not great! As I sat in the Law building, watching the students moving between lectures, I felt myself relax, now was my time and I scribbled furiously, trying to get all my ideas down on paper. The would be writer inside of me finally getting the chance to escape, even if only for an hour, until I could get home and carry on, this is what I really wanted to do!
To be able to write like my favourite authors and poets, share my own words with the world. I just didn't know where to start. I felt most alive when I was involved in a story or poem, expressing what I was thinking or feeling. I started to feel excited as ideas formed in my head, I could start a blog! I'd read in magazines how other people had written blogs, you never know who will read, what could happen next. Maybe I will be the next undiscovered hit?!
As lunch drew to a close, I was beginning to realise that realistically I needed to be more mature, stop being negative all the time and make the most out of what I had. I am lucky to have a good job and I would be able to move on at some point, but only when the time was right, and not just because I was having a bad day. But there was nothing stopping me expanding on what I really loved either! I got caught up in a crowd of students as I was leaving and smiled to myself, realising that I was indeed in the right place, I just needed reminding now and again. I went back to work feeling a little lighter, knowing I had the evening to start putting my ideas into action, I couldn't wait!