End of week 3!

In a bid to wake myself up a bit on these dark mornings, I've been trying to read at least one chapter of my book. A chance to lose myself for just 5 minutes or so in a different world, and also, in the hope that it will get the imagination going in some way. I read yesterday that to be a good writer, you need to read lots and I certainly do that! So does that mean each time I read, I can call it research....?
I think I'm going to have to start looking properly at all the things I do outside of work, try and get the balance right. Heard last night about all the future plans for our choir, and its going to be a busy year and beyond, but one suggestion is that I spend more time on learning pieces for choir. I could see the point, and I want to get things right, but not at the expense of the other things I enjoy doing, that's the last thing I want. In that way, I need to use the spare time I do have in a much more constructive and oragnised way- making the time to write as well as sing- the last thing I want to do is make myself unhappy by taking the enjoyment out of the things I love.

' You don't need a plan to start writing a book. All you need is an idea'- Natasha Lester

And the rest will come as you start to write! This is especially what I am finding at the moment. I keep coming back to the same story. I love the initial idea and just want to build on it, but sometimes struggle with overwriting and going off in the wrong direction ( suppose that's what editing is for!) But I'm determined to keep adding to it, I'll get there in the end!

' Almost all good writing begins with terrible first efforts, you need to start somewhere' Anne Lamont

So true! Now excited to go back and look at all the projects I've already started and see what happens next, or what new ideas come along!

Day 14

'Do, or do not. There is no try' - Yoda

A quote from my favourite Star Wars character. I have registered on Pin Interest today, following a suggestion from a friend, to find lots of thoughts and advice on writing, so a very useful tool to keep an eye on, on a daily basis. But Yoda is right. I constantly feel like I am trying, but I'm either writing or I'm not, there's no middle ground (its called procrastination!). I've been learning that the hard way, inspiration coming in short bursts and not always when I want it to, but you can't force these things either. Despite a fantastic evening  last night of live music and some ideas for articles, nothing seems to be flowing so far today. But the day is not yet over, so I will keep plodding on...

'Write a page a day, only 300 words and in a year, you will have a novel' -Stephen King

Another fantastic quote and something I can at least aspire to, realistically. The hardest part of starting out as a writer is finding your way, your voice, and knowing what to write each day. I'm often scribbling ideas and reading books for inspiration. But I still consider that as 'doing'- it will all contribute to something eventually. I've also given myself a number of projects that I could potentially be working on, depending on where the mood takes me, and in the hope that I can at least do a little bit on one, if not any of the others.

'If a story is in you, it has to come out'- Elizabeth Adeniyi

Taking inspiration from someone else's words and making them your own. That is essentially what all of us as writers are doing. Whether it's from something you've read, heard or seen. Have no fear and believe in the talent you have been given, you never know where it will take you.

Day 13

I don't really like this time of year, work wise. It's too quiet and I find myself with not much keep me busy. At least I now have my writing to fill in the time, but you do end up feeling guilty when you're getting paid for a job and seemingly just using the time to do your own thing (well I do). It would be so lovely to be able to do what you love each day as some people are lucky enough to do, but for the meantime, for the rest of us, its back to reality and the 'day' job', and trying to find the time to do what we really love in between.
I've spent some time today trying a new kind of writing, rather more emotional than practical. It was suggested to me by a good friend and can be quite useful when emotions take over from your writing. I still have this strange headache ( a week on) and I'm starting to think that some of it's caused by tension( personal) which then affects my whole mood. I've been putting all this frustration into a letter to the person (at this time) who is bothering me, and although it will never be sent, has certainly made be feel slightly better. freeing up my mind to focus on other things. Now to attempt to spend the rest of the day pondering some 'actual' writing, see what happens....

Day 12

Isn't it annoying and frustrating when the words come at the wrong time? After a whole day of nothing, the evening was spent working on my story, and a good amount despite the mood earlier in the day. At least I achieved what I wanted, that's the main thing. And then, as I'm attempting to go to bed, the ideas are whirring round in my mind, no settling down to sleep until its all scribbled down. But I suppose that's what being a writer is all about and inspiration really can come at any time (night or day), however inconvenient that may be!
So from last night, the good 'mood' has continued into today. I received feedback on my column piece, all positive and made the suggested changes, and now I'm on the rota! It's official, I am now a contributor to the Leighton Buzzard Observer 'Write Away' column and I couldn't be more excited to see my first piece in a few weeks time, in a printed paper! I'm excited too, to be able to add something else to my achievements so far in writing. They may not mean much to anyone else, but its all important to me, in allowing me to continue to expand and explore my writing voice. I'm determined today to spend my time more wisely, if not much work to do, writing it is, as plenty to be working on!
Saw a good quote on my way out for lunch:

' If you don't believe in yourself, no-one else will'

So true! The more I've believed in my writing, the more positive feedback I've received and it keeps me going on the not so good days. Having something, however small, published, either in the paper or in the anthology makes everything feel so much more real, does that mean I can start calling myself a writer now?

Week 3- day 11

The sun is shining and it's a beautiful autumnal day. Then why do I feel so fed up?? Just looking out the window should lend itself to a wealth of ideas, yet today I have none. It's that Monday feeling again, and its not just affecting my work mood, but also my creativity. Nothing has inspired me so far, so despite not having much work to do, I haven't managed to fill the time with any writing either. Managed to read during lunch, in my normal spot, used the time to just think and lose myself in another world, one I think I would much rather be in today. Still not that many ideas, but already planning to try and work on my story later, so that's got to be a small positive at least, that I'm thinking about it! So as I feel that I don't have a lot to say today, instead I want to share a poem that reflects on how I'm feeling. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.....

Writers Block

Just staring at the blank page or into space ahead

Not knowing where to start, doing other things instead

Feeling  a strong need to just write down

The words in my head keep running around

So easily distracted, either by TV or book

Putting pen to paper, the last place to look

Hating the days when I hit that wall

Feeling useless, no inspiration at all

No creativity flowing through my veins

Nobody to assist me, take the reins

Body wound up and tensed right through

Emotions raging, don’t know what to do.

Waiting for the ideas to come or flow

Listening for snippets of conversation to make me go

Shutting off my mind from the world that surrounds

Focusing on the creativity to get off the ground

End of week 2!

' Nothing wrong with having a dream, sometimes they even come true'

A good quote from a person close to me, thank you for spurring me on! Started the day well with more ideas on what to include in 'Write Away' column. The more I've thought about the idea, the more excited I am to be included (if I'm good enough). I've already drafted my first idea and looking forward to feedback from my fellow writers (who already write for the column) to see if its along the right lines, I hope so. It will be another avenue for my writing, allowing me to learn to write to a deadline and a specific word count as well as maybe finding and honing my 'voice'.
When I decided I wanted to explore creative writing I never envisaged that a year or so on, I would have done the courses that I've done and joined a writers group, let alone expanded on my writing. I just thought poetry was my thing, but now I've started a handful of short stories, a blog and considered contributing to a regular newspaper column and even been 'published' in our anthology! Just goes to show that anything can happen if you put your mind to it, and when I'm having a bad day, feeling like I've hit a wall, I need to remember how far I've already come.
Writing makes me happy. I feel like I have some kind of purpose. I'm not sure why I didn't think about it earlier. I suppose we all dream to be this fantastic writer someday ( and I will keep on dreaming and hoping), but unless you unlock that creativity, and let the pen hit the paper, its not going to happen. I'm so happy that I unleashed my dragon, and hope that it continues to grow.

Day 9

All I seem to have done this morning is stare at my computer or out the window and procrastinate. I know I said about doing my own thing alongside work, but don't seem to have achieved anything of either so far. Feeling a bit flat and wound up for no reason, so will attempt to turn it into something more positive, writing it down! Already by putting pen to paper I can feel some of the tension easing slightly. The strange headache  mentioned is still there, almost like my head is too full, emotions and words unable to escape and flow easily. Or maybe it is some kind of seasonal thing, I know the change in weather and seasons can affect people in different ways, the dark mornings and damp and cold weather have certainly affected my mood over the last couple of weeks. I seem to spend a lot of time on the go, trying to fit everything in, like I said, sometimes work just gets in the way, but unfortunately it is a necessity! Coffee was needed to wake me up and then once I'd started one thing, I felt somewhat better and able to concentrate a little better. Relaxing music through the headphones has also been a factor!
Something else that has helped today, and I should maybe think more about each day is faith. Recently I feel I'm trying to take it more seriously, instead of for granted as it's always been a part of my life. Its become clearer, helped me to focus and take time out in order to unburden and clear my mind. In that respect I feel its very much like writing, and so not only do I have faith in my life and myself, I also believe in my writing. A bit deep, but something I needed to share. And so in the words of the book I'm reading by Mitch Albom, 'have a little faith', it can go a long way.