January 2018- Start as you mean to go on….

Can you write too much? A big question to start the year, but one I have been dwelling on somewhat. And my answer? I don’t think so. Only now as I have accumulated over 75,000 words, and that’s just what I’ve typed up, with two and a half notebooks still to look at, I think not. My story is now much clearer and becoming even more so the more I write and type. I’m still discovering new ideas that I want to include as well as finding other parts that I now don’t like. But its all part of the process, and can be edited once I get to the end! I can finally see, I hope, where I’m going and where I need to have been, how I got there and that’s an amazing feeling. It’s certainly taken long enough but I’m finally proud of where I am. Continued research as well as the newly scribbled thoughts and ideas have re-inspired the earlier parts of my novel, which will really help to fill in the gaps. It’s amazing to think that it’s nearly four years now since I started the idea for my novel. It was just that then, an idea and thoughts of maybe a short story. I could have never imagined that the idea would have grown as it has and be as long as it is, or even that it still wouldn’t be finished. But I know from listening to other people’s journeys that it can take time to finish that all important first novel, so I’m not going to worry to much. But one thing I do know is just how far I’ve come in that time, both as a writer and the amount of words that I’ve achieved. I wouldn’t have believed it at the start, but I’ve certainly proved to myself that I have it in me to write a novel, and I can finally feel that the end is getting nearer.

Talking of the end… I have written the end of my novel!!! I was given some advice a little while back from Julie Cohen, a writer I have had the pleasure of meeting and learning from, that in order to get past the part where I was stuck, I needed to write the end. I would then know which direction I needed to be heading in. So Julie, I hope you are proud that I finally followed your advice, sorry it took me a while!  By writing the end, I finally know where I’m going and the realisation that I’ve actually written more of the story than I thought. So with that in mind, once I’ve finished the epilogue, I have taken the decision to try and step back for a bit, to catch up and see just how much I have done. Not easy when new thoughts keep popping into my head, but will attempt to do at least! I need to get everything typed up so it’s all in one place, making it easier to look through as a whole and mark up what goes where, BEFORE writing anything else new. Otherwise there is a danger of going too far and  not only getting lost again, but forgetting what I’ve already done and re-writing parts without even realising I’ve already had that very same idea before.

I’m trying to use time where I can. For example, travelling on the train for a weekend away sparked new ideas as well as being useful writing time. I try to write every lunch time during the week, but I sometimes feel it’s just not enough. I want to start using weekends more too, before they start to get busy again. January can be a relatively quiet time, so I need to be using that to my advantage. And I have in some ways, so I need to continue that moving forward where I can. It’s very easy to fill weekends and evening with lots of other things, and push the writing to the bottom of the pile. And don’t get me wrong. Sometimes that needs to be done, particularly when the weekends are the only time I have to catch up on the jobs that need doing, or enjoying some other creative tasks. It’s getting the balance right. And by feeling determined in all different aspects of my life, it is certainly helping the mind-set. By keeping my writing log, it’s useful to see just what I have done. This is particularly prevalent to look back on on any off days. I happy to report that there haven’t been many recently and I hope this continues. It gives me that allowance to accept that I can have time to do other things too and not feel guilty. But I still try to write on those days when I feel like I’m struggling. Words can still appear from ideas or trying to pick up from where I’ve left off. And okay, so I may not  really like anything I scribble on these days, and I feel stuck, but then there is that small ray of hope that these words can be rewritten when the time comes and the mood is better. At the time I’m frustrated as to why I feel like this, and there is no real reason to pinpoint why I feel like this, especially when the day is much like any other. But I know I can come out the other side, I’ve done it before and I can do it again.

There has been time where I’ve had the chance to work on some other writing projects, and the space from my novel, just for a short while cannot really be a bad thing I don’t think. I’ve been working on an idea for a short story that I hope will be ready in time to submit for a competition. I’ve had a few ideas for a while now but have only just recently begun to write the story. It may be a bit late given that the deadline is only a few weeks away but I now I would regret it if I didn’t at least try at having a shot at it. Besides it’s been a bit of a breath of fresh air, to work on something completely different in style, voice and subject. So we will see what happens! I might be taking a little break, but I think any writer needs that now and again, but at least I’m still writing and it gives me a chance to explore my ideas. Talking of ideas, there are still plenty of column ideas to work on, but at least it keeps me going for a bit! By taking that little bit of pressure off, I’m finding things a little easier, so I’m not prepared to give up on the column writing just yet! I will continue to try and surround myself with my own inspiration and my desk and room seem the obvious place to start, I just need to take the time to look at what I have and use it in a positive way. Otherwise what’s the point of having it there? I’ve chosen pictures and quotes for a reason after all.

‘It’s not where inspiration comes from, it’s where it leads.’

So as you can see, a mostly positive start to the near year, so long may it continue and be a sign of what the year ahead may bring….

The novel continues to grow....