I have now finished reading the Short Story workbook and found lots of useful tips and exercises to try out, so looking forward to experimenting with some other styles of writing. Part of me would love to do a proper writing course or a masters, but not having the funds available for either, believe that reading a variety of writing books can be just as beneficial. And who knows, maybe I'll get to go on one of those courses one day!
Just as the month started off well, it then slowed down a bit, frustratingly. I had a severe lack of confidence in my writing, and some days I drew a total blank. When I did try and write something, I thought it was rubbish and didn't like what I'd done, thinking it too simple and disjointed, losing the flow and the enthusiasm that I started with. I know that's what editing is for, but that wasn't going through my mind at the time! Inspiration is a bit like tiny flashes, which come and go. I start off all fired up with an idea and then everything seems to disappear for a bit, hence so many unfinished pieces. I've been questioning the reason as to why I even write or, if indeed I am a writer. Sometimes I don't think so, especially on the days when the words won't flow on the page. But the fact that I even have to ask and that I get so frustrated means its important to me, otherwise I'd just give up completely. Its better to scribble ideas, one line or a quote than force myself to carry on with something that my head's not in the right place for at the time. So therefore I have decided I'm an aspiring writer at present. So its been a rather slow month for large chunks of writing as I've been finding that I keep hitting a wall when I really want to write, and although there have been a few short bursts, not as much as I would like.
As I have neared the end of the month, there has been a slight shift, and in the positive direction! First I was inspired by one of my latest books, sparking lots of ideas and giving me the oomph back to get on with my writing. I've had a few days of annual leave, which I took especially to give me some more time to write. It was a bit slow to start with- the first day was taken up with jobs and appointments, even though I was feeling inspired by my book. The second day was one of fits and starts. Although surrounded by my notebooks, with so many started projects, it was hard to know where to start. I attempted to focus by staying in my room, away from the distractions of the TV and internet, but the house was almost too quiet and my mind once more blocked up. I did manage to start another birthday poem that I then finished a couple of days later, so at least it was something. I still have work to do on my writing space and working out what I need to keep me focused, a place where I know I can just disappear into my words on the page.
Although not sure if I can yet call myself a writer, I can definitely say that I am a reader. I spend as much time as I can (and sometimes when I know I should be writing) reading novels, magazines, biographies and useful books (note to self, don't forget poetry), glean what inspiration I can from them, whether that be a line, an idea or a quote, it all goes into my notebook for future reference. More recently these have also included what could be part of a story, such as a paragraph, so will be good to see where these can be fitted in, or maybe be a part of something new. That's how I'm not yet a writer in the full sense of the word, still in the very beginning stages as I have yet to find that place, both physically and mentally where I can sit and find my writing voice and the perseverance that goes with it. I may have lots of unfinished pieces, but at least I've started them. I'm tired of making excuses of why I'm not writing. The only thing that's stopping me is me.
With that in mind, the last few days have been very positive. I feel properly inspired for the first time in ages. A new story has been started, once more sparked from a novel that I'm currently reading. I can already visualise the characters so excited to see where they take me, and the journey seems to be currently going smoothly! Its about time that I learned to much more proactive. I've entered two pieces to a new online literary magazine, so will see in a few weeks if they have been accepted for publication in the first issue. If not, there's always future copies to be considered for. I have some kind of place for my writing, first this blog (so that's one checked off!) and then typing up the extra parts of my Cornwall story, adding to what I have already typed. I can see where I am with it, and what still needs work, and hopefully the spark of enthusiasm will come back. In the meantime I have my new story as well as another column to be working on, as well as a few other new ideas to explore. These include attempting to start an online page or magazine, where I can share thoughts and opinions as well as pieces of writing, inviting other writers to do the same. Its something I'm quite excited about, and hopefully I can report back next month as to how that's progressing. I've also started a daily post on my Facebook page of photos- small moments from each day- some that have inspired me, and some that I just like!
And so after a month of really struggling, as I reach the end of it, I'm once more inspired and keenly writing, long may it continue!
' Believe with all your heart that you will do what you are made to do'
